Ode to Apollo

Deep in the center of my existence

There is an infinite well of love!

Here and now is a wave, 

I shall ride the wave and look for you 

On the other side of the veil...

I shall recognize you,

As your heartbeat will be identical to mine.

The perfection of imperfection....

I am sinking in the colors of the sky at dawn,

merging with them.

I crave for that kiss that will take my breath away

And burn my insides...

I kiss you softly and fly out of the window, 

To catch the sunrise!

'Till the next time..... 

Σβήστε τ'αστέρια!

Και να το πάλι αυτό το μισοφέγγαρο που μοιάζει με φέτα λεμονιού να με γλυκοκοιτάζει....
Το πρόλαβα όμως.... Τα λεμόνια μπήκαν στο μίξερ μαζί με την τεκίλα και έγιναν μαργαρίτες, τις οποίες καταναλώσαμε χωρίς δεύτερη σκέψη.
Και μετά, ενώ η Emma Shapplin χρωμάτιζε την νύχτα με την φωνή της σ´εκείνο τον παραδεισένιο κήπο, κοιτάξαμε τ´αστέρια... Εκείνη στο τραγούδι της για ένα χαμένο έρωτα, ήθελε να τα σβήσει, αλλά δεν την αφήσαμε! " Δεν σβήνεται τέτοια ομορφιά" της είπα! "Έτσι είναι οι έρωτες, έρχονται και φεύγουν..Πιες μια μαργαρίτα και θα σου περάσει, η τεκίλα κάποτε μοιάζει με λήθη, ναρκώνει το μυαλό και το κάνει να ξεχάσει."
Το νυχτολούλουδο εκείνη την στιγμή ήταν στα φόρτε του· απελευθέρωνε απίστευτες ευωδίες και προκαλούσε τις αισθήσεις! Τόσο, που όταν ο Φραγκούλης με την παρέα του άρχισαν να τραγουδούν για τις νύχτες στο Μαρακές, βρεθήκαμε ξυπόλυτες να χορεύουμε πάνω στο βρεγμένο γρασίδι. Άρπαξα και ένα χρωματιστό φουλάρι και το ανέμιζα γύρω από το κεφάλι μου ρυθμικά καθώς λικνιζόμουν στην ανατολίτικη μαγευτική μελωδία...

Είχε χρόνια να βρεθούμε όλοι μαζί... Ίσως να ήταν και 2 δεκαετίες... Δεν έκανε όμως καμία διαφορά... Δεν είχαν αλλάξει και πολλά πράγματα, αυτό ένιωσα στην αρχή... Κι όμως, όλα είχαν αλλάξει. Κανένας από τους 4 μας δεν ήταν το ίδιο άτομο που ήταν πριν 20 χρόνια. Οι δύο, κουβαλώντας έναν αστείρευτο έρωτα ο ένας για τον άλλο, μιξαρισμένο με τα σκαμπανεβάσματα και τις έννοιες της  κοινής τους ζωής, οι άλλοι δύο, κουβαλώντας τις πληγές που αφήνει ένας αποτυχημένος γάμος, κλειστές μεν από καιρό, αλλά με φανερά σημάδια που δύσκολα μπορεί κάποιος να αγνοήσει.
Ήταν ένα από ´κείνα τα βράδια που δεν έχει προγραμματίσει κανένας, που  μένουν αξέχαστα...

 Από ´κείνα τα βράδια που όταν τα σκεφτείς, σταματάς αυτό που κάνεις και χαμογελάς με ικανοποίηση και ευγνωμοσύνη συνάμα... Γιατί κάποιες φιλίες, όσα χρόνια και να περάσουν μένουν αναλλοίωτες στον χρόνο και στις κακουχίες!

ΚΑΛΟΚΑΙΡΙΝΟ ΤΟΥΡΛΟΥ!

Τελικά, αυτή η καθήλωση λόγω μεσοσπονδύλιας κήλης ($#%@&€¥£$$^%) άρχισε να μου την δίνει αφάνταστα! Το μόνο που καταφέρνω είναι να σκέφτομαι συνεχώς. Κάποιες από τις σκέψεις καταλήγουν φυσικά στο Blog και τις μοιράζομαι δημοσίως,  αλλά έλα που είναι και όλες οι άλλες, οι ακατανόμαστες· αυτές που δύσκολα μπορώ να μοιραστώ με άλλον άνθρωπο.  Ευτυχώς που υπάρχουν και αυτές οι 2-3 ψυχές γύρω μου που ακούνε βουβά με κατανόηση και αγάπη, χωρίς να με κρίνουν και χωρίς εγώ να ανησυχώ αν θα σκεφτούν έστω για μια στιγμή ότι είμαι για δέσιμο!
Σήμερα λοιπόν, άραξα στον καναπέ, περιτριγυρισμένη με τα απαραίτητα ηλεκτρονικά gadgets,  και τη μαγευτική φωνή της Billie Holiday να με ταξιδεύει σε τρισδιάστατα σενάρια ανεκπλήρωτου έρωτα...(το δράμα, αναπόσπαστο κομμάτι του έργου...)
Που και που κοιτάζω λίγο έξω από το ανοικτό παράθυρο και έχω τάσεις φυγής.... Καλά, αυτό το είχα από παιδί, τα ανοικτά παράθυρα μου έδιναν πάντοτε μιαν αίσθηση απόδρασης...
Θυμάμαι τις πρώτες μέρες στο δωμάτιο μου σ´εκείνη την μικρή πόλη της Φλώριδας, "Απαγορεύεται να ανοίγετε τα παράθυρα" μου είπαν! "Είναι τρελοί αυτοί οι Αμερικάνοι",  σκέφτηκα, χτυπώντας το δάκτυλο μου στον κρόταφο μου, όπως τον Αστερίξ ένα πράμα. (**Είναι τρελοί αυτοί οι Ρωμαίοι)!!!!
"Πως γίνετε να μην ανοίγουμε τα παράθυρα;" ρώτησα, περιμένοντας να μου πουν ότι επρόκειτο για αστείο. Και όμως μιλούσαν σοβαρά! "Κανονισμοί του πανεπιστημίου" μου είπαν. "Τα κλιματιστικά δουλεύουν 24/7 έτσι δεν χρειάζεται να ανοίγετε τα παράθυρα!"
Εγώ φυσικά, αναρχική ,ανυπάκουη και ασυμβίβαστη, είχα τα παράθυρα μου ανοικτά για αρκετές ώρες κάθε μέρα, αγνοώντας τους γελοίους κανονισμούς του πανεπιστημίου!
Κι ενώ η Billie Holiday κτυπιέται στα ηχεία του υπολογιστή μου, ( τον θέλει τον μπαγάσα, κι αυτός την γράφει), το μυαλό μου ταξιδεύει σ´ένα ταξίδι που μου είχαν τάξει! Σε σκάφος, απ' το Σαουθάμπτον στην Ισπανία.... Κι εγώ  η ηλίθια πίστεψα, και περίμενα να περάσω Αυγουστιάτικες βραδιές, στο θαλασσινό αεράκι του Ατλαντικού!  Όνειρα θερινής νυκτός!
Μια και μιλάμε για θερινές νύχτες, μου ´χει μπει η ιδέα να φυτέψω στον κήπο μου ένα νυχτολούλουδο, ή πακιστανό. Αυτό που η μυρωδιά του τα καλοκαιρινά βράδια σε μεθάει και σε κάνει να ερωτεύεσαι... Σαν να το έχουν ποτίσει με φίλτρο μαγικό οι θεοί και κάθονται εκεί στον Όλυμπο, πίνουν τα mojito τους, κτυπούν και κανένα sushi και σπάζουν πλάκα με τα καμώματα μας και τα πάθη μας!
Θα κτίσω κι έναν καναπέ, πάνω του θα βάλω μαξιλάρια από μαροκινό μετάξι, και τα βράδια θα ξαπλώνω εκεί, φορώντας  τα καφτάνια μου και τα χρυσά μου πασούμια, με τον πακιστανό να ξελογιάζει τα ρουθούνια μου και να με κάνει να παραλογίζομαι!!
Μ´αυτή την τελευταία σκέψη, σηκώνομαι και κλείνω το παράθυρο.
Θα φτιάξω ένα  χαλβά, λέω και αλλάζω την μουσική σε Janis Joplin.

                                                                                                                     Copyright © 2013 Emilia

An Odyssey in Question!

I hadn't been to the dock for days... Something kept me away from the land as my time in the fish tank was quite traumatic. Tonight though, something was telling me that a significant encounter was planned...Being far, in the deep waters for the last two weeks, I had to swim for hours to reach the dock. When I got there it was already dark. The crescent moon was shyly shedding its amber powerful energies.... I looked at it as I surfaced, "Time for new beginnings", I thought and I felt a flutter in my stomach.
I heard her crying silently, sitting on the last bench at the far end of the dock.... The city was behind her and when she stood, I felt that she needed to leave everything behind. That's when I decided to make my presence known. That's when I knew that my instinct had driven me to the dock that evening to see her!
She wasn't surprised to see me there. It almost seemed as if she was expecting me. While the tears were still rolling down her cheeks, she smiled at me in silence...
I looked at her there in the dim light of the new moon. She was a tall woman in her early forties.  She was wearing a long white dress and gold bracelets on her right wrist. A sea shell was hanging on her chest... The way she kept touching it, made me realize that it was a special charm, it offered her peace of mind...

Her hair, sun-streaked light brown, loosely tied in a pony tail and her skin, lightly tanned, was giving her a sense of freshness and youth. The way she carried herself showed that her background was of some significance.

She told me that her name was Penelope...
I asked her why she was crying... She sobbed... I waited until she was ready to talk.... Penelope talked about the love of her life. How they met, fell in love, made their home, had their son...and as she was telling her story, I could feel the love emanating from this woman's soul. Her voice deepened and her eyes darkened when she went on telling me about her love disappearing...leaving her... How she waited patiently for years knowing he had to complete his journey... She told me about the Sirens and Calypso and how eventually he escaped from them, and then she told me about Circe, how she had wooed him into her bed and was still holding him captive under her spell. She talked about her endless attempts to win him back but to no avail... then she told me about her suitors.... How they would surround her every day, craving for her, wanting to devour every bit of her womanhood...she talked about them, "the mnesteres" as she called them, giving me a detailed description of their personalities, their fears and their insecurities.
She described those to whom she succumbed, and those that she despised.  She described endless nights of passion and extreme sensations, lacking any trace of love...

To some she was just a trophy. To others she was a way out their everyday boredom. They conquered her body but none of them could conquer her heart... She cried more.
"I don't know who I am anymore", she said wiping her tears.... "What I do know is that I could never go back to what I had, or who I was before all this! All I know is that I don't want him back anymore.... He can stay at Circe's forever for all I care. The question is how do I get out of this mess? How do I find love? Does it exist? Are there any real, unconditionally loving relationships? Or am I in for the disappointment of a lifetime? Will I grow old alone?"
She looked at the time and jumped on her feet!
"Thank you for listening" she told me. I have to go, but I’ll be back tomorrow! "
She left the dock at a fast pace without looking back!
I stayed there thinking about Penelope's story! I wanted to know more about the suitors. But my curiosity would have to wait until the next evening!
I did a back flip and a somersault, giggled out loud and followed the single moonbeam to the dark blue!
Tomorrow I’d be back......

                                                                                                                        Copyright © 2013 Emilia


                                                

Anything Can Happen!

Tonight is the night of the full moon! I ' m at my usual place on the dock, and without much thinking I make a life review.... the time in the fish tank has changed me!
Last night I had a chat with Peter Pan... What a character!! He flew through the open window, saw the fish tank, stuck his nose on the glass and fell on the floor laughing!!!
"You crazy mermaid" he yelled!
"What are you doing in that glass box??"
He took one leap and landed in my water,  clothes on, shoes on and a chocolate-chip cookie in his hand!
He sat crossed legged opposite me, chewing on his soggy cookie, looked at me with the most mischievous look, and said:
" So?? Why are you still in here love?"
Before I even had the chance to reply, he stuck his arm out and put the half-eaten soggy cookie in my face!
"Eat it! It's divine! It will change your mood! "
As I stuffed the chocolatey goo in my mouth, speechless since I was caught completely off guard, I listened to his words  carefully!
" Happy thoughts! That's all you need! Instead of drowning in your fish tank, make happy thoughts! And the moment you change the pattern of your thoughts, you will shift the vibration of your existence and when you do that...anything can happen!" In the blink of an eye he was out of the fish tank, shaking the water off his clothes. He stood on the window pane,  looked at me with a huge smile on his face and jumped! Two minutes later he appeared at the window again and shouted: " Remember! Anything can happen! "
I spent the rest of the night thinking about what he said! And by the next evening I was already having happy thoughts! So getting out of the fish tank was not hard at all... I removed the chain where I had hung my heart a few days earlier and wore it as a necklace, and carefully packed it in a jewel box a friend had brought in one of her visits!  I put a note with it saying "to be used in the near future" and left it  in the fish tank.
So tonight here I am, at my favorite spot, making a life review! I look at the magical lake stretching before my eyes and I dive, losing myself in the infinite void!
Tonight I shall ride the moonbeams and travel to unknown lands.And as my skin becomes a shiny layer of golden scales, I shall remember my life but I shall never return!!
I sing... "Anything can happen" and disappear in the night!

Copyright © 2013 Emilia

Blue.....

My world today is Blue! And I am not talking just color …

As a mermaid I have always lived in the Big blue…. So blue has been a way of life. Here though, on the 3-D earth reality, Blue comes to me in different waves, forcing me to look at things from a different perspective… it comes as feelings, as music, as memories of long forgotten holidays, as little flowers growing on humid spring soil beds out in the fields… as the magnificent blue cape of protection provided by the beloved Archangel Michael, as baldness portrayed in funky nail varnish….

…And I‘ve still got the Blues for you…..Gary Moore singing in the background.

I do, I've got the Blues, and I’m really down these days… I don’t know if it’s the fish tank, (kind of getting used to it) or the continuous solar and lunar eclipse energies hitting me this month.

 I caught a little glimpse of the growing moon at dawn today. Cool morning air, soft humid clouds and a rosy hue that tickled my heart. ‘Twas magical, I tell you…. moonset and sunrise have always been my favorite in all directions of time…. even back in Atlantis I remember sitting on a rock, waiting for the moon to go down and the sun to take its place.  Only then, I was not alone. Those were times of endless happiness, unconditional love and an awareness that illuminated my soul. I long for those times. The more I stay in the fish tank the more I reminisce and the more I remember, the more Blue I feel….

I remember, white walls and painted blue doors and window frames… a magic spot in the Cyclades. The ultimate Greek island experience one would say, but my mind rolls to one specific afternoon. While sipping iced coffee and looking in the Caldera, I blocked all sounds around me except the extraordinary voice of Sade singing Paradise and I felt the cloud touch my bare shoulders as it hovered on the volcano· one of the few moments of my earth life that I can replay over and over, having exactly the same feelings every time.

I‘ve had visitors in my fish tank the last few days…. some dare to come in, others stand outside and place that funny ear piece on the glass to hear my words. There are also those that just want to know what I’m thinking so they wait for me to write. They don’t utter a word to me; they just wait like vultures to read, thinking they will understand my world. How naïve! How can one stand outside the fish tank, refuse to get in, reject my attempt to converse and believe that they can understand my world……A half crazy mermaid, living in a fish tank wearing her heart as a necklace, feeling blue!!

I paint my nails blue, plant a pot of Forget-me-not, wear my blue silk scarf and change the tune to an 80’s Madonna singing True Blue….. I hit the water with my tail and make waves…. it’s time to go…

Now, which wave am I going to ride?
                                                                                                 Copyright © 2013 Emilia